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A poncho is just a cape that goes all the way around.
Gloria, Modern Family
I want Obama saying “He’s a jackass” to be my ringtone.
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I apologize for the smell. I’m having a bad week and that’s when the McDonald’s happens.
Me, to my vegan co-worker
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I’m looking forward to seeing [Joel] Robuchon in the flesh. I pretty much was under the impression that he didn’t actually exist, and that he might be a unicorn.
Eli, Top Chef
Labor Day Sunday: Dancing at the Brooklyn Yard, with what felt like half of Brooklyn.
Played 7 times
[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]
Had a conversation last night about “your favorite depressing song.” This was mine. I saw Morrissey perform it once in concert and it seemed all wrong; this song is meant to be listened to not in a packed concert hall as musicians rock out to it, but in a darkened room as you’re curled up in a fetal position, alone, crying, clutching a bottle of Jack.
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Woman who leaves open jar of apricot jam in kitchen sink deserves to find sink full of ants.
Confucius (but not really)
The eponymous movie clip — John Wayne as Genghis Khan in “The Conquerors.” Never. Gets. Old.
High Line, New York City: Big Brother is watching you. In the form of sultry billboard models.
